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As I was saying: July 18, 2007
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Are you a beleaguered, frustrated caring parent whose child has told you he/she is "having a problem with a teacher or the school’s discipline rules?"
Preserve your student’s independence, rights, and dignity by vigorously protecting your child against any hint of unfairness, victimization, or humiliation by teachers, administrators, or higher public school authorities.
Keep the following critical parent guidelines for absolute student protection in mind as you confidently attack your public school system.
n No. 1: Clearly establish with your child that they are victims of an unfair teacher or system and that you will assume full responsibility for defending them.
n No. 2: Inform the school that you have incontrovertible evidence that your child has been singled out by an unfair teacher and punished by a petty discipline system that ignores parent concerns and rigidly refuses to admit flaws.
n No. 3: Gather "facts" solely from your child and combine them with what you assume are "many other parents" who are equally "enraged" over how the school is running a virtual prison, smothering the creative spirits and precious individualism of children.
n No. 4: Selectively demand a "full explanation" for any teacher’s response to what is considered your child’s "misconduct." Reduce any alleged misconduct to its simplest component: "Throwing garbage? It was only a wadded napkin!" "Refusing to begin working on homework in class, saying ‘I only do home work at home!?’ Merely an amusing comment by a bright student who has a way with words." "Jumped up and gave a high-five to another student... who had just "accidentally" dropped a tray of food in the cafeteria? High fives are a spontaneous youthful gesture. The ‘keep your hands to yourself rule’ is a ridiculous joke!"
n No. 5: Plead the "school failed to communicate with us" defense. Despite whatever teacher or school evidence to the contrary, steadfastly maintain that "If we had known about this immediately, we would have solved the problem and corrected our child’s behavior in a cooperative and mutually satisfactory manner."
n No. 6: Do not keep your concerns about the teacher and the school’s system’s inadequacies private. Alert other parents to your utrage. Assume their nods to be assent to your views. Interrupt PTA meetings, Open House evenings, etc., with your most emotionally charged issues. Seek placement on the school board agenda, write the superintendent, include copies to the city, county and state education authorities. And don’t forget any angle on your child’s victimization that might engage the interest of your local media.
n No. 7: Feel some vindication for the truth of your criticisms when meetings are called by the school system to hear your incessant concerns for justice for your child. Assume that the more school personal you draw into such meetings that your child will be far better protected from teacher abuse and the system’s discipline rules in the future. Take care, at this point, to moderate your attack. Suggest that you have "highlighted gross mistakes in the organization and rules of the school that will have teachers and administrators ‘thinking twice’ about their systems obvious failures."
n No. 8: Finally, after having succeeded in maintaining your confidence in your child’s "consistently ‘no fault’ conduct," you may expect to be pleased as you are more frequently called upon to protect your child’s independence. It is not too early to prepare yourself to intervene vigorously as your student moves on to higher educational levels. Maintain your high level of support by rigorously scrutinizing future grades affecting placement in the most prestigious universities, editing carefully the his/her essay section of applications, selecting a variety of community service activity experiences (even if superficially performed) which are prized by admissions officials, and cultivating a wide circle of persons whose recommendations may be solicited (even if of scant knowledge of the full scope of your student’s character and achievements).
Trust that following the Parents’ Primer Suggestions for Protecting Their Students will hone your skills in the future for communicating confidently and on an equal level with professors and deans — on a frequent basis. We owe no less to our progeny.
Ted Beranis, of Bonita Springs, is a retired educator
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Having just finished your rather lengthy letter regarding students and teachers, administrators, etc. I feel compelled to add my two cents worth . Although it is not commonplace, some teachers (BAD ones) can and do make a big impact on children. Our family went through a horrible experience with our child when she was in second grade, and it was very difficult for her. She could not attend school, and was at one point hospitalized. This lasted for almost one year. Finally, with the help of a kind, gentle teacher, she was able to go back to school and in time, was fine. She is now a grown woman with two children who have graduated and one (the youngest) is headed off to college this fall. But we never discuss the problems she had. By the way,, she recently went back to college and graduated with very high honors. My husband and I always taught our children to respect the school and their teachers, but I hope that any parent whose child is affected by a teacher will stand behind that child and seek help. We owe it to our children who are our most precious possessions.
#1 Posted by marylonn27 on July 18, 2007 at 6:25 p.m. (Suggest removal)
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