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Drunk and naked gets Golden Gate man jail term
Levi Zachary Humphrey was celebrating his 23rd birthday in the water off Marco Island, but spitting on a corporal and telling him he was Jesus Christ ended in two convictions
Levi Zachary Humphrey
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NAPLES — Levi Zachary Humphrey had a novel way of celebrating his 23rd birthday — in his birthday suit.
Marco Island police officers responded to a call about a man lying in the roadway by the Goodland Bridge on July 30, 2007, and found him swimming naked. So they called the Collier County Sheriff’s Office, which sent a corporal and a boat from its marine unit.
Cpl. Michael Kovar called out to the man, who was sitting in shallow water about 100 feet away from the bridge, but he refused to go to shore and appeared intoxicated, screaming at himself and splashing, according to arrest reports. Kovar headed out in the boat and plucked him from the water.
The man repeatedly refused to disclose his name. Kovar handcuffed him for safety reasons and the man spit on the boat. When Kovar told him to stop, he spit in Kovar’s face, so the corporal turned him away from him as they headed to shore.
After more prompting, Humphrey relented and said he was Jesus Christ.
At the jail, his fingerprints revealed he was Humphrey of 841 S.W. Third Ave. N., Golden Gate, and had a criminal record. He was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and providing a false name to law enforcement.
In court Monday, Humphrey told Collier Circuit Judge Frank Baker he’d been celebrating his birthday and pleaded for probation. He’d faced up to five years for the third-degree felony battery charge and a year in jail on the misdemeanor, but was sentenced as part of a plea bargain negotiated by Assistant State Attorney Tino Cimato and defense attorney Timothy Moffit.
Moffit asked the judge for a furlough so Humphrey, a steelworker who now lives in Alabama, could get his affairs in order. The judge agreed to two weeks but he increased the sentence to a year in jail followed by three years of probation. When Humphrey surrenders on Sept. 12, the judge will mitigate it to the agreed-to term: four months in the county jail, with credit for a week he served there before posting bond.
The judge gave him some advice about swimming while drunk and naked. “Get a cape next time,” Baker said. “It was humorous in a way, but you could have drowned.”
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I don't think Judge Baker is ready yet for Comedy Central.
#1 Posted by ZhuZhu on August 27, 2008 at 9 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Hey..at least he wasn't stealing, swindling and murdering like the rest of the criminals around here. I'll take swimming naked on his birthday any day.
#2 Posted by FLBUTTERFLY1026 on August 27, 2008 at 9:05 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Don't hauk lugies on the law!
#3 Posted by GeeRide on August 27, 2008 at 9:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)
knowing him.... hes gone now. should have kept him here in Jail. Now we will have to pay our tax dollars to have him shipped back once hes picked up on the warrant that will have to be issued
#4 Posted by Native73 on August 27, 2008 at 9:25 p.m. (Suggest removal)
If he was Jesus Christ he coulda walked on water to the shore.
Why bother with the police.
His spit is holy 2 U know.
I'm laughing so I hard I peed my pants again!
Happy 23rd birthday Zachary Levi!
Thanks for adding some action to the slow life of Marco cops!
#5 Posted by beetlejuice on August 27, 2008 at 9:32 p.m. (Suggest removal)
What? No picture?
#6 Posted by indigodragonfly on August 27, 2008 at 9:37 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Two Weeks to get his affairs in order? Good job Judge, this guy is G-O-N-E. Yeah, make sure you come back so they can throw you in jail for a year. Right, I'm sure he'll be right back.
#7 Posted by mwyatt22 on August 27, 2008 at 9:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096569/m...
Happy Birthday Doogie!
#8 Posted by beetlejuice on August 27, 2008 at 9:56 p.m. (Suggest removal)
indigo...Mom and Dad probably wouldn't B 2 proud if son's photo was here...because he looks just like Doogie Howser, M.D.!
#9 Posted by beetlejuice on August 27, 2008 at 10:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)
If there was a photo, it would B titled full moon over Marco!
#10 Posted by beetlejuice on August 27, 2008 at 10:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Dont we need more Soldiers and Marines????
#11 Posted by ricky369 on August 27, 2008 at 10:30 p.m. (Suggest removal)
WTF...there was a Doogie, now they shaved his head?????
What happened to the photo that was first posted with hair?
#12 Posted by beetlejuice on August 27, 2008 at 10:52 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Hey,
At least this guy isn't killing anyone, or stealing pennies .. doesn't appear to be an illegal, for the bulk of you.
Can't tell about his political preference either?
Although, you people, probably know have some insight on all if it, I'm sure of it.
Happy 23rd. Although, Haulover Beach may have been easier.
#13 Posted by news_hound1 on August 27, 2008 at 10:55 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I think if you took alcohol out of the world, you wouldn't recognize it.
#14 Posted by cit10driver on August 27, 2008 at 10:56 p.m. (Suggest removal)
citi,
Agreed. But then we would only be able to see one of earth's moons.
#15 Posted by news_hound1 on August 27, 2008 at 11:09 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Or other members of the Earth's solar system!
#16 Posted by beetlejuice on August 27, 2008 at 11:42 p.m. (Suggest removal)
A news story about a drunk dude who went skinny dipping? This would have been "REAL BREAKING NEWS" if the snook were biting and one latched on to his "LIL' WIGGLER"!!!
#17 Posted by ThisCommentRemovedByStaff on August 28, 2008 at 12:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)
"Humphrey said he was Jesus Christ."
"his fingerprints revealed he was Humphrey...."
"He was charged with providing a false name to law enforcemet."
Too rich!!!
THANK YOU, GOLDEN GATE!!!
You never disappoint at furnishing us with comedy.
#18 Posted by R_Popoff on August 28, 2008 at 4:52 a.m. (Suggest removal)
beetle, Ya got that right!
Now I wish they wouldn't have posted a photo, more nightmares tonight!
#19 Posted by indigodragonfly on August 28, 2008 at 6:18 a.m. (Suggest removal)
If there is one single act you can do to really, REALLY urine a cop off, just try spitting on them...
#20 Posted by Jadip811 on August 28, 2008 at 6:27 a.m. (Suggest removal)
He was probably stoned not drunk
#21 Posted by NeezDutz on August 28, 2008 at 7:40 a.m. (Suggest removal)
He would do a better job running the school then Dennis Thompson :P
but his credentials are a better fit for the school board. He & GED boy should get along real well.. LOL
#22 Posted by Disney on August 28, 2008 at 8:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Just think, if it wasn't for goof balls like this we wouldn't have anything good to Blog about. And Vinny could do a better job running the school system than Thompson is doing. And the kids could get a great deal on Limo's for the Proms.
#23 Posted by CaptKidd on August 28, 2008 at 9:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Maybe it was HIS pants which showed up in this guys van:
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2008/a...
Must be it. So they are both innocent (not), right?
#24 Posted by BlueTonguedVole on August 28, 2008 at 9:23 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Is there any better way to go through life than drunk & naked?
#25 Posted by mikemorrow2 on August 28, 2008 at 9:54 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Alcohol, the worst drug in our society. Legalize or at least decriminalize marijuana to help these people escape reality for a few hours and have a mellow experience rather than an out of mind, violent reaction to alcohol. That being said, I do enjoy my Rum! Cheers!
#26 Posted by flahill on August 28, 2008 at 10:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)
It was NOT his fault...his pants were stolen! They are part of the "fellowship of the traveling pants". He was just a victim.
LOL, just saw #22, Jadip811's comment. It appears the blog censor program is alive and well. Should we be "upset" off too? But I can type "pisses" and it gets through. Interesting, isn't it?
There is few things more offensive than having some individual target you with any of their body fluids during a confrontation. Mostly there is little risk for catching disease, but the act is offensive and an aggressive one.
Sorry NDN and any especially sensitive blog reader, I am not here to offend, but I enjoy having a good laugh.
#27 Posted by BlueTonguedVole on August 28, 2008 at 10:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)
R_Popoff: are you the Mucko Isle City Commissioner, Popoff? Just curious. While I don't live in GG City, I am amused that if, in fact, you are the Mucko Isle dude, that YOU of all people would be so amused because Mucko Isle provided a lot of amusement to many recently until you became "unMossified", that is.
If you thought the "they are not my pants" boy was innocent, why not poor young Humphrey? He is no longer a Collier Countian now either...but a 'bama boy.
#28 Posted by BlueTonguedVole on August 28, 2008 at 10:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Identity crisis aside, at least he will be out in time for next week's convention....:-)
#29 Posted by herrick9 on August 28, 2008 at 10:54 a.m. (Suggest removal)
OMG !.....immigrant too???.....oh no !! this is how " people" here celebrate birthdays !!!!...
#30 Posted by PPC on August 28, 2008 at 10:55 a.m. (Suggest removal)
#28..."Fat, drunk & stupid is no way to go through life, son"-Dean Wormer, Faber College, 1962. :) (well, OK, the kid's not fat... but maybe a little of the other two). If it was a 23 year-old female drunk and naked, she'd have a blossoming 'acting' career on the "Girls Gone Wild!" videos. 23 year-old guy gets jail time. The ol' double-standard is still alive and well. ;)
#31 Posted by oyvey1973 on August 28, 2008 at 11:50 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Nah..I can't !!!!.....why don't you post it on your myspace together with your countdown.
#32 Posted by PPC on August 28, 2008 at 11:57 a.m. (Suggest removal)
So the Judge gave him a year (mitigated to 4 months when he shows for jail)for being stooopid; spitting on the Deputy. Otherwise, the guy was swimming nude while drunk.
Repeat DUI'ers get less time for endangering the public.
#33 Posted by mangy_coon on August 28, 2008 at 12:20 p.m. (Suggest removal)
#20...what the heck does that mean???? I live in GG and take offense to that....stereo-typer!!!
#34 Posted by tallthin1 on August 28, 2008 at 3:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)
After more prompting, Humphrey relented and said he was Jesus Christ.
Wow! What do you know.. not only he's with us but he's intoxicated and naked too.
Woohoo, double the fun!
#35 Posted by Elle on August 28, 2008 at 3:53 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Elle, crucify him for celebrating his birthday.
He can walk on water ya know.
Watch out Marco and Naples, birthday suit water walking is the newest sport....next to kite surfing, and tropical storm wall slamming in Ft. Myers Beach.
#36 Posted by beetlejuice on August 28, 2008 at 7:19 p.m. (Suggest removal)
obviously a member of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes
but wait a minute...maybe he is Jesus, and the Gov't has rejected him again...clues; spit on first time, this time he's the spitter, Levi, clearly a biblical name, Jesus loved wine, scars on hands and feet, a virgin
if I was office Kovar I'd tried to keep talking to him while he stayed in the water, for as long as it took to attract a hungry Goodland gator...maybe even go on a another call and come back later..and save tax payers money
#37 Posted by prometheus on August 28, 2008 at 8:35 p.m. (Suggest removal)
prometheus..maybe he tried to drown himself, and rise again on the third day and Marco police screwed up his plans?
He's Jesus Christ ya know.
He's the reason for FCA....not a member at all!
BTW...it would be a saltwater croc on his full moon over Marco....not a gator as they prefer fresh water.
#38 Posted by beetlejuice on August 28, 2008 at 10:58 p.m. (Suggest removal)
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