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All the politicians are calling for energy independence. But, that’s not the real issue. Our real dependence problem is shoes. That’s right, shoes! These are the facts:

The US imports 95 percent of its shoes. Domestic US shoe production is virtually non existent. Some 80 percent comes from China alone. Billions of dollars flow to China for shoes. Does China like us? I think not. What would happen if China imposed a shoe embargo?

Shoe prices would skyrocket. Discount shoe chains, supplied mainly by China, would have to raise prices dramatically. Of course they will be accused of gouging, but consumers will have to bear it. Most affected would be the lower and middle classes, those with minimal shoe collections.

To conserve shoes, sports teams would have to cut back on games played. Sports stars will lose their endorsement contracts. Obesity will climb, as shoe conservation limits physical activities. Auto use will rise as people curtail walking. Accessorizing will be frowned upon, as the politically correct moral behavior will be to wear the same ugly shoes with every outfit. No Hollywood star would be caught on camera with a pair of Jimmy Choos.

Shoe rationing will be imposed by the government. Shoe hoarding will be a criminal offense. Government expropriation of large shoe collections for distribution to the middle class will become policy.

The politicians know about the shoe issue, but don’t want to face it. Taking the wrong stand on shoes could lose them elections. You won’t hear Sarah, Hillary or Nancy discuss their shoe positions. For John and Obama, shoe issues are beneath them.

T. Boots Kickens, a billionaire shoe leather trader, has put forth a plan to save the US from a shoe embargo catastrophe. His plan calls for massive investment in new shoe production facilities in the US, even though the cost of these shoes will be triple current prices. Better to be prepared. TB also wants a strategic shoe reserve set up now and new regulations mandating shoe design. They must be highly efficient and practical. Miles per gallop (how fast a jogger wears down a pair) will be the measurement standard.

Al Gore is making a new documentary called, “An Inconvenient Bunion,” so the problem must be real.

Comments and/or suggestions to gerryk3001@yahoo.com.